The hardest Blog yet

 

 This is the third time I have attempted to write this Blog.

 

 I started this blog on March 14.  At that time Mom was quickly sinking further and further away from reality.  It is so painful to watch.  All she wants to do is go home.  She sits waiting for her mother or one of her brothers to come and take her home.  We all try to explain that she is home and her mother is very happy that she is here with us.  But that doesn't last very long.

March 14th  I sent an email to my three brothers and one sister, advising them that I have a realtor coming on Tuesday to give me some sort of idea what we are dealing with this terribly neglected house, barns and property.  This was a fabulous property when my dad was still able to take care of it.  Peter jokes about how he always thought I had a very wealthy family, because the house on the top of Bunker Hill was magnificent.  The gardens, the lawns, the stone walls, the old barns, the in ground pool and the wide open field with cows and horses. It was so beautiful back then.  Not so much now.  And explained that it was going to be very expensive to get the house and property back in shape.  No one disagreed with me.  However, my older brother is too old to do physical work here (Sorry Thomas).  My brother Steve had his hip replace on January 19, so he is still in therapy and unable to lift, etc.  My 3rd brother William has serious back issues due to the life of a mason, with heavy weights up and down ladders.  So here we are!!

Today is March 31.  So much has occurred since the 14th.  I have been so busy that I just didn't have the time or strength to write down all that was happening. 

It is now April 7th.  I am home alone this afternoon and evening as Peter is working at Home Depot.  I have promised my self that I would remember all that has occurred and that I would get it written down.  I don't think we have ever been this exhausted in our whole life and that covers Passover Seders for 100 plus, all at the same time, in 4 different dining rooms with 50 percent of the temporary staff non English speaking!!!  We know stress and tiredness !! 

But this is different.  When I became Power of Attorney for my Mom, it wasn't a real big deal.  Paid her bills, made sure we had someone coming in a few days a week to sit with her, nothing very trying.  All that changed when we arrived here on our "Adventure".  I now am responsible for all decisions, financially, health wise, the house and more. Maybe I bit off too much.

 I contacted a High School buddy that I graduated with who is a realtor and has lived his whole life in this area.  As soon as I contacted him he jumped into action.  It was fun seeing him after so many years.  He got bald and I got fat!!  Not sure either of us would have recognized the other if we had just met on the street somewhere.  I explained our unfortunate situation with the 35 acre property we now are forced to sell.  In 2012 my mother was sweet talked, given gifts, taken out to dinner by a conniving couple.  They convinced her to give them a right of way on her property and then sold them a few acres of land.  It has created quite a glitch in the sale of the house.    I have begun to call myself the "Glitch Bitch" as nothing I have had to do has been easy. Always a glitch at every turn!!

 On March 22, my brother William  and I went Assisted Living Shopping.  We found a place called The Hearth of Glastonbury which we both liked.  We spent a lot of time talking with them and thought if we need to put Mom in a home, this seemed to be a good choice. Little did we know, 2 days later mom would become very sick.  We called our nephew Danny, an EMT, who just happened to be home.  He came right over and checked her vitals and thought it was necessarily to have her go to the hospital.  We opted to not send her to the local hospital, but have her go to Hartford Hospital.  Bless his heart, Danny went to the hospital for us, and spent the night with Mom.  What a selfless act for which we are very grateful.  She was diagnosed with a UTI and internal bleeding.  She stayed in the hospital for 2 nights while we scrambled to get her into an Assisted Living Home.  We were able to get every thing in order to get her admitted on Friday.   Needless to say Thursday and Friday were very stressful, moving mom's furniture into the room at the Hearth, her clothes, my Dad's paintings on the wall, the curtains from her bed room and all the other things to make her feel at home.  We had it all done before she arrived, thanks to my brother William and his love, Sooz. She arrived by ambulance.  She seemed very tired somewhat drugged on her arrival.  However,  she recognized my brother, me, and her fiancee!  Need to back up a bit here.  Peter and my mom's 12 year love of her life George (after my dad passed away) had a lot in common.  They were both slight of build with white hair and facial hair.  So, my mother in her dementia state, thinks that Peter is George.  George passed away 10 years ago.  It has made for many an interesting evenings.  It was quite embarrassing at times!!!!!

So, now she is in the assisted living facility.  The first few days were not good.  She basically slept all day contributed to the final days of her antibiotics.  But some days she is in what we call "The Senior Center"  and is joining into the activities, some days not so much.  She is beginning to make friends and is settling in. This is a special area of The Hearth that caters to those suffering with advanced dementia.

Now, back to the house.  It is costing an incredible amount of money to remove all the "trash, crap, stuff" from the house.  We filled a 30 yard dumpster in one day with the help of 2 young men, just emptying the attic.  The barn could take 4 dumpsters. We are hoping to plan an Estate Sale.  That would help us remove so much stuff. We are working with a local company.

More later.........